I write about helping children become responsible adults through respectful guidance and discipline. I may earn income from purchases of advertised products or links.
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Have You Considered Parenting Time Limits?
Jennifer is a 30-year-old mother. Her daughter Chelsea is three. Jennifer has about 13 years left to help Chelsea get ready for adulthood--that's if you believe 16-year-olds will listed to parental guidance!
Scott has a 12-year-old son, Micah. Scott has about 4 years until Micah reaches age 16.
Sure, parents can continue to advise their children into the adult years. After all, in western cultures, adolescence seems to go into the early 20s.
Parenting has a time limit
When you consider the time available to help children become mature, responsible adults, parents need to decide on their priorities. I'm not saying parents ought to cut back on fun and games. I am saying that if you want your children to learn specific values, atitudes, and skills, then plan to do most of that teaching during childhood and early adolescence.
When children enter the teen years, the parent-child relationshp changes. At some point, children begin teaching parents a thing or two--including values, attitudes, and skills.
It isn't long before your children are teenagers-- busy with school, part-time work, and peer group activities. They may be applying for work or college. You may or may not be happy with their peers. You may wish they had other plans for employment or college. But the chances are, your ability to influence your older teen have diminished considerably.
Why not make the most of childhood?
Think about what you would really like them to know, value, appreciate, and respect.
Do they complete age appropriate responsibilities at home?
Do they complete age appropriate work at school?
Do they show respect for themselves and their personal space?
Do they show respect to you, peers, siblings, and other adults?
Do they share your values?
Your parenting days are numbered. Make the most of them then, become friends for life.
Read more in Chapter 1 of Discipline with Respect
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Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Chores, Tasks, & Responsibility
In Discipline with Respect, Chapter 1, "The Principle of Purpose," I discuss the importance of building responsible behavior with tasks and responsiblities appropriate for a child's age. It does take more time than doing a job yourself, but parenting includes helping children become mature and responsible adults.
I recently saw a post from the American Counseling Association (ACA) about chores. The suggestions are similar to mine.
Here's a quote from their post.
Having your kids do assigned chores can be an important factor in helping them develop in positive ways. Chores are a way for a child to feel part of the family, and to gain a sense of contributing toward the family good. These early life lessons make it easier for a person to feel like an active, contributing member of society later in life.
And here is the link to the ACA blog so you can read their Jan 05, 2018 post about the value of having children complete chores.
Read more about evidence-based discipline strategies in Discipline with Respect -- A book used by schools and recommended by professionals.
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Full link to the ACA post about "chores."
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