We all respond better to people whom we respect. And respect is easier when we have a positive relationship. Parenting is a long-term relationship. In Western cultures, physically close parent-child relationships can last more than 20 years.
We have a choice. We can continue to parent in some of the best ways we were parented. And we can choose to parent differently than the way we were raised. But if we don't think about it, we may repeat habits from the past--some good--some not so good. If we want to change, we need to get new ideas from observing others, reliable online sites, professionals, and reading a few good books.
Relationships are about love and trust in so many small ways. Love and trust build respect. As parents, we need to listen. Let children tell their stories even when they are agonizingly slow. When there are a few children, we arbitrate so each child has a voice and equal time. Listening to children is one way to communicate respect.
There are times when we must say no. There are times when children will lose privileges. But the negatives need not be what's typical of a parent-child relationship.
See more about love and respect in Discipline With Respect.
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See the website for Discipline with Respect.