Some argue against the use of Time Out discipline strategies
despite scientific evidence of its effectiveness. Some criticisms of time out are
justified. Discipline with Respect
involves a commitment to a long-term loving parent-child relationship.
Used correctly, time out is a brief time away from a
pleasant activity as a consequence for a child’s unacceptable socially aggresive or destructive behavior. In
Discipline with Respect
and other programs, parents and educators learn that time out is one of many
strategies to help children learn to follow basic rules in home and school
settings. The emphasis in
Discipline with
Respect and other parenting programs is always on creating a positive setting
where children are encouraged to be a part of family and peer activities
sometimes referred to as “time in.”
Parents and teachers explain time out in advance so children
understand the purpose of a brief time away from activities and where they will
spend that short period of time. It is best not to discuss the time out procedure or the problem behavior with a child who has not responded to a warning. Discussions can lead to escalation. Discussing the misbehavior can occur after the time out consequence if there is doubt the child does not see the connection between the aggressive behavior and the time out consequence.
Most time out guidelines suggest using about one minute in time out per year of age so 5-minutes for a child age 5 and 10 minutes for a ten-year-old.
Time out is more effective when children are in a chair or sitting on a mat away from the activity where they misbehaved. Time out is more effective when children are not playing with toys or doing other fun activities.
Time out is more effective when children calm
briefly before they return to their previous activities.
Encourage positive interactions when the child returns to their activities.
Researchers find time out helps reduce both physical and
verbal aggression and destructive behavior in many settings. Again, time out is
only one strategy and should be used in the context of an overall positive
program. Like other strategies, time out will not always be effective with
every child.
Time out is not a strategy for every type of misbehavior. The
focus of research is on using time out to interrupt aggressive and destructive
behavior, which is often accompanied by anger. The risk of not using time out
or other effective strategies is that children will continue to be aggressive
as they grow older. Some may be concerned about repressing anger but that
concern is not supported by evidence. Parents and teachers can teach the
appropriate way to express anger within their culture—for example, using words
and taking constructive action.
Some parenting sources advocate holding aggressive children
but this is controversial. Parents and other care givers find it difficult to safely
and effectively hold aggressive children.
Those who focus only on positive approaches to discipline
help engender an attitude of respect. However, most find that effective
discipline needs to include consequences for severe misbehavior. For an academic review
of research on time out, see the Morawska and Sanders (2011) reference.
Morawska, A.,
& Sanders, M. (2011). Parental use of time out revisited: A useful or
harmful parenting strategy?. Journal of
Child and Family Studies, 20(1), 1-8. doi:10.1007/s10826-010-9371-x
Shriver, M. D.,
& Allen, K. D. (1996). The time-out grid: A guide to effective discipline. School Psychology Quarterly, 11(1),
67-75. doi:10.1037/h0088921
Sutton, G. W.
(2018).
Discipline with Respect in Caring
Relationships. Sunflower Press. Available from
Amazon.
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